Journaling and getting to know the one who writes

I like to read biographies. I am always impressed by how the story unfolds, and it allows me to see some sort of improvement, progression, or journey. More than once, I have pondered if there would be a time where I could see my life in such away. Journaling has provided me with that perspective.

As I've grown older, I realize that there is no such thing as a "straight line" story of our lives. I do recognize that most of us have a favored interpretation. This is most evident when I ask my children about a particular event in our lives, and they all have different versions of what happened. We all indeed have an unofficial story of our lives. Sometimes these stories are not very flattering. Many times we tend to see ourselves in need of improvement. We have decided we want a clean slate, another chance...a new me; and we buy a new journal.

Perhaps like me, you have 1, 2, or 10 journals in your drawer; some of them with many written pages and others with just a few. Yet, all of them bear witness to moments in our lives when we thought: "I need to get to the journal."
One thing that has happened to me is that every time I went back and read some of the pages, I had this feeling that I really liked the guy who wrote this journal. It's kind of funny because of that guy whose writing is somewhat different from mine. He sounds wiser, more articulated, much more intense, and aware of reality than me. So maybe that's another reason I go back to read my journals. But, strangely, reading my journals can provide me with wisdom from the very same guy who needs help.

My poor self-image
How is it that I don't feel so bright every day? Where's this wisdom coming from? Why do I like this guy who journals more than I like myself? We are running around doing daily chores, getting up early trying to get to work on time, and back home for dinner or homework. Yet, we find time to read books on time management, minimalist lifestyles, or how to meditate for 1 minute and gain enlightenment! To be fair, we are all trying to do our best with what we have; but I still feel dumb and incompetent.
Yet, when I read my journal, I sound so bright and put together; clearly, I lack self-awareness. Once I grab my journal, I feel I'm reading from someone who says very familiar but different from me. Yes, journaling helps me accept my mood swings and recognize there's nothing wrong with me feeling the way I do...it has happened before and will happen again. I often realize that each moment can be seen as a gift waiting to be unwrapped. True, I can't know how to live a life I have not lived before. This is why journaling provides me with an opportunity to allow my inner wisdom to shine, like saving knowledge for a time of need. Other times I'm worried about something and reading my journal, I find inspiration, like an answered prayer from within.

Journaling for self-awareness
Most journal entries relate to events. We take time to describe how we feel about specific events, about ourselves, or our spiritual journey. Later, we will have a chance to see how our perspective has changed. On some of these visits to my past, I find an optimistic and straightforward person about his feelings. These are powerful moments because there's nothing like seeing the wisdom in your own words.

In contrast, there are those times I get to see myself more introspective, concerned, even philosophical. This is when I'm reminded of the complexity of my life. In my frantic day-to-day, I take many aspects of my personality for granted, or, frankly, I prefer to ignore them. So every time I take a moment to write my thoughts and feelings of joy, sorrow, or when significant life changes occur, I assist myself to count on greater wisdom for times of need.

These days when the pandemic has changed the way we relate, entertain, or even worship, let's use some of our time alone to review or, better, to add insights to one of those half-started journals. Who knows how these insights "from this time of crisis" could shed light and inspiration in unexpected ways.